>>23991709i used to try and quiet the anxious thoughts that'd constantly bother me with weed, but now i quiet them when i think about how Jesus loves me, and His love is a complete, fulfilling, and wholesome love, unlike my imperfect love, which always demands more from myself. now i lost the urge to smoke, and i'd used to smoke 24/7. the urge can come back here and there, but i'm just strangely amazed at how i don't need it to function anymore like i'd used to. it's almost weird talking about it now because it feels like it's been so long since i've needed it, that it's just become another thing worth forgetting about, like what your last meal was, or what you dreamed of last night, but it used to be a huge issue in my life.
i did notice how sometimes when high, rather than get even more anxious and paranoid, i'd become oddly more spiritually inclined towards Christianity, but now that's somehow just partly become my baseline sober. my cognitive function has also improved a lot, likely due to fasting. it's like i am extra mindful and careful with each and every conscious decision i make, and this has physically manifested itself in a cleaner, more organized house. i'm not saying that this means i'm living more of a real life than real life, only that some of the haze has been lifted, if that makes sense. it's just strangely peculiar to me.
