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ITT dad jokes

Anonymous ID:WVB99VYU Thu 05 Oct 2017 18:28:38 No.2399171 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>2400206

>my wife is on a tropical food diet, the house is full of the stuff
>it's enough to make a mango crazy!

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:nQJBsmoP Thu 05 Oct 2017 18:29:57 No.2399183 Report

Quoted By:

>hey, when are we getting dinner? I'm hungry
>HI HUNGRY I'M DAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:t6gXw+sd Thu 05 Oct 2017 18:34:10 No.2399235 Report

Quoted By:

What did the alien say to the gas pump? Take your finger off your ear when I'm talking to you!

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:orgMhWqv Thu 05 Oct 2017 18:35:59 No.2399258 Report

Quoted By: >>2399290

>dad jokes
Not really a "dad joke" but my dad traumatized me for life playing a joke on me

>yells for me to come to the basement real quick
>claims he chopped my mother up into pieces and put it in the freezer
>he opens the freezer and sure enough, there's tons of chunks and pieces of meat/flesh (it's actually just moose)
>he convinces me it's mom
>break down crying
>nobody tells me it's a prank until 4 hours later

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:WVB99VYU Thu 05 Oct 2017 18:36:00 No.2399259 Report

Quoted By:

>never trust atoms
>they make up everything

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Q59miaBR Thu 05 Oct 2017 18:38:15 No.2399285 Report

Quoted By:

>What's blue and smells like red paint?
>blue paint

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:WVB99VYU Thu 05 Oct 2017 18:38:31 No.2399290 Report

Quoted By:

>>2399258
your dad sounds lika hoot to have around

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:WVB99VYU Thu 05 Oct 2017 18:42:36 No.2399325 Report

Quoted By:

>wanna know why you don't have 12 inch nose?
>because then it would be a foot

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:ZxXV+xjW Thu 05 Oct 2017 20:08:32 No.2400192 Report

Quoted By: >>2400203

bump
>why can't dinosaurs talk?
>because they're all dead

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:+1oQ/Bl0 Thu 05 Oct 2017 20:10:05 No.2400203 Report

Quoted By: >>2400252

>>2400192
>what do you call a one-eyed dinosaur
>a douthinkhesawus

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:muacM0tC Thu 05 Oct 2017 20:10:20 No.2400206 Report

Quoted By:

>>2399171
Did you hear about the crab at the nightclub? He pulled a muscle

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:ZxXV+xjW Thu 05 Oct 2017 20:16:29 No.2400252 Report

Quoted By: >>2400257

>>2400203
>why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
>because the p is silent

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:+1oQ/Bl0 Thu 05 Oct 2017 20:17:33 No.2400257 Report

Quoted By: >>2400279

>>2400252
>what do you call a 3-eyed dinosaur?
>a hedefinatlysawus

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:ZxXV+xjW Thu 05 Oct 2017 20:20:17 No.2400279 Report

Quoted By: >>2400352

>>2400257
>what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
>lickalotopuss

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2eVCg9hF Thu 05 Oct 2017 20:30:14 No.2400352 Report

Quoted By:

>>2400279
>what do you call a gay dinosaur?
> a megasoreass

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