You don't owe honesty to people who aren't paying you, protecting you, or elevating your life. This one took me a while to understand, but there is a lot of power in being misunderstood. You don't have to correct people. Let them misunderstand you. Misunderstanding creates distance, and distance creates respect. If someone disrespects you, downgrade them immediately. You don't need to teach them how to treat you. You don't need to explain your boundaries, and you don't need to say, "this hurt my feelings." They know it did. Instead of confronting people, just reposition. Less access, less energy, minimal effort. Be hard to get. Even with friends, especially in romantic relationships, being available all the time isn't loyalty. You can love and admire someone without being accessible 24-7. People naturally value what they have to schedule and what doesn't come easily. Stop arguing with people you don't agree with. What is that going to do? You're not going to change their mind. Just observe. Arguments are for people who are trying to win points and the smart ones just sit back and collect data. If someone shows you what they believe, what triggers them, what makes them defensive, mentally make note of that. That information always makes sense later if they do something weird to you and you won't be wondering why. It also makes people a lot easier to predict. Let people talk their way out of your life. Don't save them. Don't chase them. Just give them the rope and let them hang themselves. And finally, be polite, not nice. Being overly nice is just wanting to be liked by all. It is not the same thing as being authentic. polite is untouchable always be polite i know some of this sounds like manipulation but life is like a big game of chess and people are always making moves whether they're conscious about it or not and learning how to play the game doesn't make you a bad person it just makes you harder to play.
