Been bullied at school for two years which already felt like it was going to drive me insane to the point of wanting to climb over the fence at school during recess and just walk away to escape my whole class always insulting me and my friend(s) but didn't want to make things worse for myself

My mother died two years after the bullying because of self induced anorexia, she never managed to overcome the pain of her godfather, her grandpa and her father dying/taking their lives away...and I know that having a suicidal parent makes you more likely to have suicidal thoughts, seems like it's been kicking in again recently

That last event led me to give up at school, not learning my lessons, winging my tests by remembering what the teacher told us during class which gave me barely passing grades for secondary school and HS

My teenage years weren't much better either, my acne got real bad, giving me insane body dysmorphia (self-diagnosed but all the symptoms were there), causing me to get insanely anxious in public and barely talk to anyone, isolating myself socially from other students and my teachers

That somewhat carried over to my HS years though that part at least got somewhat better recently but the damage's already done