Fucking hell anons, do you ever feel like you wanna give up in life? Because I sure fucking do.

I know people out there have it worse and all but I'm tired of my life thus far. I'm in my last year of college and all I've ever done in my life is nothing but school, school, and school. And if it wasn't school it was babysitting my siblings. We couldn't afford family vacations as a kid and I've never traveled outside my state, so I've never had a break from anything. And I can't handle it anymore.

I'm pretty sure I'm depressed because looking back for the past few months I haven't been actively pursuing any of my hobbies anymore, I've gained weight out of stress eating, I've felt lonelier and sadder, and my grades reflect all of this. I used to wake up somewhat ready and interested to go to school but now every morning is a hassle. God I hate my current situation so fucking much. And yet I can't change it, or at least not as easily. I really want to get a job and save money and leave during the winter but I can't juggle school, labs, research, somewhat of a social life, and a job. I don't know what to do. Everyone I talk to about this is either not interested because it's our senior year and theyre focused on their life (which is completely understandable) or they don't particularly care.

I can't turn to my family either because they'll just feel that I'm slacking off and since I'm the first in college and the oldest I have the responsibility of "bettering the family." At this point I haven't really looked into getting a job with my degree/major ( assuming I graduate this year ) and I might soon but honestly thinking, most of the jobs offered to physics majors are fucking company and or research jobs... I'm not happy with my life at all and the only real outlet is posting on some fucking anonymous board or chat group where at least someone may respond. I know all I'm doing is rambling but fuck, I don't know what to do, nor what to say.