>>2543894I was thinking about doing the same thread!
>be me>be wimpy betafag>renting a room in a house>rent is expensive so these dicks have someone living in the garage>no place to park my motorcycle>only here for a month, whatever>park it outside with a cover on>one morning, 5 AM>watching God Bless America on netflix (good film, like a satirical version of Leon the Professional)>get very uncomfortable feeling>am drawn over to window>look outside>not sure exactly what is happening>takes a couple seconds>ohshitnigger.jpg>some assholes are stealing my motorcycle, currently loading it into the back of a truck>beta mode disengaged, alpha mode is go>literally not even thinking about what is happening, pure instinct>grab machete>put shoes on>run outside onto front porch>thieves notice me>chubby hairy guy in his boxers with a machete>yell "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU ALL" at top of lungs>legitimately shocked how terrifying that sounded>charge them, machete in hand>thieves get dinner plate eyes, bug out rapidly and drop my bike>2 guys jump in truck and peel out, one guy runs down the street>basically call him a pussyfaggot and say if he ever comes back I'll cut his tiny dick off>good 30 seconds of taunting him while he runs down the street kek>cops get called, show up>ask me why I didn't call 911>"only emergency happened in the bad guy's pants, officer.">cop laughs and gives me his card>mfwAnd that is the story about how I learned I'm actually fucking edgy and hardcore.
