'Sup /b/. So, since I was a teenager, I've had impulses to hurt and kill people. I've been struggling with these feelings ever since. When I think about killing a person, I feel a surge of great, almost sexual pleasure. I have had the most messed up thoughts about hurting and torturing men, women and even children. I am ashamed of my feelings, but also attracted to them. I have many times imagined how good it would feel to kill. I used to wonder if I was a psychopath, but though I certainly have psychopathic traits I have an ability to love, and deep emotions, which psychopaths don't have. It's more of a spectrum, though, like most mental phenomena. Anyway, I have more control over it now, but every now and then, I get sucked into a state where all I can think about is hurting/ killing the people around me. Everyone is a target and everything is a weapon. And it's obsessive, I really can't think of anything else. I've been afraid of myself for most of my life. When I was 8, I flew into a rage for basically no reason, charged into a classroom and started clawing at this other kid. They sent me to a psychiatrist, and I basically said that "my bad side" did it. It was after that I started developing these. When I was about 13 I walked past a woman in the park, and had the strong impulse to, if I had a knife, stab and rape her. I was a christian then, so I tried to pray away the feelings, but they only returned later. By 18 I was having these feelings all the time. I was both scared by it and excited by it. Eventually, I developed a way to control these feelings through fantasy and video games, but like I said, they still linger and sometimes they creep up on me. It's been a strange life for me.

How about you anons? Any of you felt that crazy urge?