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It's kind of hard to write about this, but I'll try the best I can. English is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.
First I'm a 27 year old guy in a 5 year old relationship with my girlfriend, semi-fit, and non-smoker. I also don't take any depression or anxiety meds.
This year we started to get closer to couple who we've been friends for a long time. A few dinners, some flirting, drinking, and suddenly somebody suggested that we should do something more sexual.
Ok, everybody agreed, and we traded partners. The first time this happened we only went as far as a blowjob.
Skipping ahead a few weeks, last night we decided to get together again to drink and have some fun. We really didn't plan anything.
We bought a bottle of tequila, a few beers and snacks and started our night. The night went on and things started to get heated so we decided to go to bed.
That's when shit started to go wrong for me. I was hard before the act itself, and technically I got it up and even penetrated (for a short time), but it started to go limp. I just couldn't maintain an erection. Sometimes, I could get it semi-hard, but not enough for penetration, and even wasted 3 condoms trying.
I felt bad for the girl I was with, because I find her really attractive and she tought I didn't like her and that it was her fault that I could not get hard. I felt bad for my girlfriend who was having fun with the other guy, and I felt bad for him too, because I decided that we all should stop since I was not having fun and I didn't think it was fair.
Since then I've been trying to understand what happened to me.
Maybe it was the alcohol. We drank A LOT of beers and almost the whole bottle of tequila, maybe a little bit of anxiety which made me nervous in front of everybody and so on.
I don't know CHAN, I'm an idiot. They said it wasn't my fault, that it happens to everybody, but it didn't make me feel better.
Now I feel like I disappointed everybody and that I'm a failure of a man.
