>be me
>Neighbourfriend of mine attacks his girlfriend
>I don't have animosity towards either of them, really
>Anyway, I go to the courthouse and see his arraignment and he catches up to me afterwards and has a coffee with me
>he admits he is guilty and doesn't know what to do
>I say idly, well, you know, there's the courthouse sheriff shortage. You have a right to a speedy trial and lately people have been getting acquitted because they don't have sheriffs to transport them to the courthouse.
>So, just do whatever it takes to take up as many sheriffs as possible and maybe you'll win the lottery. No other choice because you are guilty as shit.
>we both laugh and we go our own ways
>months go by
>I've become better friends with his ex
>if you know what I mean
>She asks me for advice about her upcoming testimony and says he's been behaving weirdly
>he's been drinking and breaking curfew so they are keeping him in jail until the trial
>He plead not guilty and no one knows why
>hmm
>That's weird, I tell her. Perhaps he's going for an insanity defence that's the only thing I can think of-
>it hits me like a ton of bricks
>he broke his bail conditions so that the sheriffs have to transport him to and from the courthouse
>he's actually going to try it the absolute madman

what the fuck do I do? I accidentally perverted justice, I didn't think anyone would be that crazy. The happiness I receive from my plan being successful in the end will be greatly overshadowed by the travesty of justice that will result. But I'm the smartest person I know, to come up with a second, even crazier plan to defeat my first one will be quite the challenge. I'm definitely going to tell the girl about what his plan is, but I'm going to phrase it like I just deduced it, not that I was the original architect of the plan.