A generation or so ago, pretty, floral "innie" vaginas were the norm, unless you were in Africa, where large labia are a status symbol and sought after by men and women alike.

But as our sexual behaviors changed, so to did the vaginas. It's become one of the most taboo subjects for the feminized west to discuss: the epidemic of women sprouting flappy beef curtain vaginas.

And it isn't just aesthetics. The STDs hosted within beefed out roasties transform them into biological weaponry. The gabagool gash's arsenal includes post-antibiotic gonorrhea and syphilis, not to mention the countless and ever-evolving strains of herpes let alone the projected "AIDS 2." Poisoned vaginas are not only ghastly to look at but also expose all of us to unacceptable and preventable risks.