Hey /bant/, I need advice.
I've had bouts of depression since childhood but this just doesn't feel right. It's incredibly worrisome.

It's like I've lost all interest in life. I'm not usually sad, and I can still feel happy, but I'm no longer interested in my future. I'm not even interested in what's happening to the people around me, either.

I feel like I would be okay if I died tomorrow. Of course, I don't know that 100%. But what I do know is life just feels pointless and I don't care as much as I used too. I can't commit suicide, though. It would hurt too many people and would be too much of a surprise. I'm worried about who would find me, too.

The worst part is that most of my friends would regard me as one of the most positive persons in their lives. Same with my family.
It's strange how I'm able to keep this positive mood for the people around me whilst at the same time doubting my feelings for the future and for life in general, and caring less and less about what I should care about.

I was supposed to help some of my friends with a video they were making for one of their classes over the weekend. I completely stood them up because I couldn't bring myself to it. A month ago I would've definitely gone and helped them. I really don't know what's happening.

What do? And do any of you guys feel like this too? I know I'm not alone but it feels that way sometimes. Sorry for the fuck-ton of text, btw.