Base jumping's for pussies, kick boxing's for thugs
Jet skiers are morons, weight lifters need drugs
Abseiling is pointless, why climb up a wall?
Only right wankers play beach volleyball

Met a snowboarder who wasn't a turd?
Nah, neither have I, the idea's absurd
You get on a plank, you slide down some slush
Fall on your arse, say "Man, what a rush!"

I turned on the telly, I just went, like, "Whoa!"
And used the remote to flick through the shows
I think I'll watch footy, I know it's not X-Treme
Why take it to the max, when you can take it to the mean?

Xtreme sports can kiss my arse