>>329997Can confirm FE.
Retail assistant reporting. (Retired)
In '92 I won a trip to New Mexico. You're probably too young to remember, but in those days it was located near the North Pole. Just then, my mother died suddenly in Ireland, when no one was expecting it. It was a shock and quite out of the blue. It all happened so suddenly.
Patrice Eva had an uncle at the time. We looked at a map on a big rolled out piece of paper. Then we looked at a globe.
The astute reader will notice that a map and a globe are physiologically different and that if one can imagine staring at both objects adjacent to each other one will not help but notice they are not twins.
It would have seemed logical to fly East to Ireland, but upon looking at the globe, it was OBVIOUS that it was shorter and THEREFORE QUICKER to fly north to the pole and then (((south))) to Ireland.
Which is what we did, or rather, should I say, except, we didn't.
But not for lack of trying.
My mother was dead and it is my deepest regret to this day that she was kill in a Bed And Breakfast with Seal's older sister.
We flew north until the cumpass spun, then headed south. And guess fucking what? We ended up back in New Mexico, RIGHT where we started. The reason, dear listener, was because the earth is flat. When I checked on the big paper map it was obvious. Go north, head south, back where you started.
It was then that I realised that GLOBES are a Jewish trick.
My mother was cremated and apparently Seal attended the funeral and so did Bono because it was Sunday and he was in his Xooropa phase and The Edge was trying to bang the undertaker. The strangest thing about the whole incident was that when I scattered mother's ashes on a hotdog vendor at Yankee Stadium by accident, I got a massive erection that has pointed East ever since. I've literally saved hundreds on expensive compasses.
