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SPOILERS guys just wanted to say that I had some tickets to see an extra-early screening of DISNEY'S STAR WARS TLJ in Taiwan earlier today:
1. The Resistance escapes D'Qar and makes it to Crait thanks to Poe blowing up stuff and meet that purple haired lady. Asian American token minority character Rose's sister Tulip the Japanese dies because there can't be more than one female token Asian character
2. Rey is Luke's bastard child with his waifu using the force. Luke thought about molesting Kylo long ago but they blew up the Jedi school. Luke trains Rey to be a feminist and then reveals that he is MGTOW
3. Finn and Rose ride together and infiltrate the First Order
4. Porgs and soccer ball robots are selling like hotcakes thanks Chinese factories and child labor
5. Rey betrays Luke's Anti-Fascist group and joins Kylo (but she'll be back and blacked in the next episode)
6. Leia has an overdose on heroin thanks to Snoke
7. Kathleen Kennedy is your children's new mom
8. Poe Dameron makes it past border patrols and force fields to illegally immigrate into First Order territory
9. Maz Kanata's eye sockets double as extra buttholes
10. Corporate nerd clickbait video "reviewing" TLJ (https://youtu.be/Vix6-afHzMg?t=57m38s)
11. Basically it's the plot of Mad Max: Fury Road and Rian Johnson is a hack
12. Purple haired lady drives her spaceship into the other spaceship and recalls the good old days with the Rebellion and Luke's pink lightsaber
13. Even though {{THEY}} own Star Wars now you're still gonna buy tickets to see this shit?
14. Red Tails was better.(https://youtu.be/HENk6E85Dho)
15. I clapped when they used lightsabers
16. Some fatass foreigner motherfucker was eating popcorn, picking his nose, chuckling, talking with his friend, did a standing ovation to the shock of the Taiwanese around him, and waited through the credits for an post-credits scene that didn't happen because this isn't a Disney's Marvel movie
1. The Resistance escapes D'Qar and makes it to Crait thanks to Poe blowing up stuff and meet that purple haired lady. Asian American token minority character Rose's sister Tulip the Japanese dies because there can't be more than one female token Asian character
2. Rey is Luke's bastard child with his waifu using the force. Luke thought about molesting Kylo long ago but they blew up the Jedi school. Luke trains Rey to be a feminist and then reveals that he is MGTOW
3. Finn and Rose ride together and infiltrate the First Order
4. Porgs and soccer ball robots are selling like hotcakes thanks Chinese factories and child labor
5. Rey betrays Luke's Anti-Fascist group and joins Kylo (but she'll be back and blacked in the next episode)
6. Leia has an overdose on heroin thanks to Snoke
7. Kathleen Kennedy is your children's new mom
8. Poe Dameron makes it past border patrols and force fields to illegally immigrate into First Order territory
9. Maz Kanata's eye sockets double as extra buttholes
10. Corporate nerd clickbait video "reviewing" TLJ (https://youtu.be/Vix6-afHzMg?t=57m38s)
11. Basically it's the plot of Mad Max: Fury Road and Rian Johnson is a hack
12. Purple haired lady drives her spaceship into the other spaceship and recalls the good old days with the Rebellion and Luke's pink lightsaber
13. Even though {{THEY}} own Star Wars now you're still gonna buy tickets to see this shit?
14. Red Tails was better.(https://youtu.be/HENk6E85Dho)
15. I clapped when they used lightsabers
16. Some fatass foreigner motherfucker was eating popcorn, picking his nose, chuckling, talking with his friend, did a standing ovation to the shock of the Taiwanese around him, and waited through the credits for an post-credits scene that didn't happen because this isn't a Disney's Marvel movie
