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>Be me
>Wake up
>Shart uncontrollably
>Eat my McDonald's breakfast
>Fart hearty blasts of greasy diarrhea
>Head to the local Walmart
>Find designed shitting aisle
>Shart a violent torrent of liquid excrement
>Almost lunch time
>Diarrhea geyser propels my mobility scooter like a rocket through the drive through
>6th big Mac upsets my stomach
>Unleash a giant tsunami of diarrhea that propels me into the air and over the horizon
>American flag unfurls behind me as I soar like a majestic eagle
>See an actual bald eagle
>Eagle sharts
>Get shot
>Tip eagle on the way down as I plummet to the earth.