>>3536408My condoleances anon. I sort of know what you feel, my dad passed away last summer.
>>3536418From my experience, surprisingly not too bad. The circumstances helped a lot though. We learned six weeks ahead of time that my father had terminal cancer and didn't have long left to live. I was crushed at first. I visited him often, in the last week of his life (when things got really bad) I visited him every day and we made the most of our time, talking out some of our differences and apologizing where needed. I think it helped us both, knowing that there'd be closure once he left us.
The day he died I felt oddly relieved. Perhaps I'm not allowed to say this, but many times I caught myself thinking "I'd rather have him die right now than next week". During the first week or two it wasn't bad, but after a while my dad started to deteriorate so much I just wanted things to be over. The last week or so he was barely even aware of what was going on around him because he was so doped up on morphine. It just felt relieved, I didn't even cry during his funeral. It's mostly after his death that the sadness came and went in waves, when I considered all the things we didn't do together and all the things I want(ed) to do with him.
The biggest comfort here is the fact that my dad was already pretty old (almost 72). There was no great tragedy, his time had just come. Much like my mother's time will come one day, and much like my time will come one day. It's not like he was shot or got cancer in his mid 40s or something. Even the doctor treating him explained that there most likely weren't genetic factors at play, my dad just got "unlucky" with his age.
