>Wake up one day
>Desperately search for Half Life 3 news
>neverever.smc
>become enrage
>walk straigh up to that fat fuck Gaben's house
>kick down his fucking door
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
>put a bullet in both his knees
>"COUNT TO FUCKING 3"
W-wha-
>"COUNT TO THREE"
O-one..
T-t
>Pistol whip him in his fat fucking face
TWO TWO
>aim gun at head
T-thr-hee-ee he screams,
Please don't kill me
>shoot him in his crotch
>police come, I am incarcerated for attempted murder
>court date arrives, I am asked why I did this
>"I got Gabe Newell to count to three, your honor"

All charges are dropped, police congratulate me on the way out. Fat virgins throw confetti on me on the court stairs.
I got Gabe Newell to count to three. I am a legend.