i feel like telling a story

>be me, 17
>just got dumped by first gf, we took eachothers virginity
>feels bad man
>have 7/10 blonde orbiter who i never made a move on because gf
>invite her over at 11pm to "drink and hang out"
>we have a few beers (enough to get me drunk then)
>initiate sexy times
>im hitting it from the back when i decide to just slam my dick into her pooper
>as my dick enters she lets out a long, squibbling fart that sounded kind of wet
>her face is a mix of complete horror, shock, embarrassment all at once
>the stench is pretty horrible no lie
>dont care, feels amazing
>as im about to cum, i pull out because that was just my instinct at 17
>i pull out my dick and jerk off all over her back, but feels weird so i look down
>it is just absolutely coated in shit, like covered in it
>looks like a fucking corn dog but its covered in shit not breading
>my hand is also covered in shit now
>the smell is awful, i am dry heaving and i run for the door to puke, open it with my shit hand because im retarded
>my dog had been standing outside my door, probably because she heard us fucking
>the dog trips me up and i eat it in the hallway, i try to save myself my falling, so there is now shit smeared all over the white wall and the wooden floor
>i immediately throw up
>girl is now freaking out
>trying to stay quiet so i dont wake up my parents but im now covered in shit and vomit

At this point there is shit on my doorknob and the wall, and a combination of shit and vomit on the floor

>jump in shower while dry heaving
>an hour later i still dont feel clean
>get out of shower, girl is gone
>she legit just left, bitch
>look down at floor, shit and vomit gone but shit still on wall
>whatthefuck.jpeg
>confused until dog comes around corner licking its lips
>fucker ate not only this girls poop but my whole pile of vomit as well
>dogs face as i stare on in horror

Whole first floor smelled like shit for a few days. Wouldnt let dog near me for a while