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Hello, I work at the LHC

ID:U2yN7f3l No.4020172 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Something went wrong yesterday with professor Chirtkov's experiment. It had to do with the production of quantum black holes from high energy proton collisions. Hypothetically these black holes should give off a unique measurable energy signature, but will decay quickly (timescale of 10^-9 seconds).

We were running it through the big ring, when suddenly the power went out, at around 2:30 pm.
Engineers reported damage to the collision chamber, it was no longer hermetically sealed.

We took the tram (that's how we get around the LHC) down to investigate, and found them examining the floor of the chamber, which they claimed had a small indetectable hole allowing air to escape. I walked under the chamber, and something caught my eye. Down on the ground, in the metal, a tiny hole, virtually invisible to the human eye. Getting down on my hands and knees I estimated it was smaller than the diameter of a human hair.

we probably have a few weeks, a month at most. The hole will gather mass exponentially as it falls through the earth.
You won't notice anything at first, it will be like every other day. But then, the earthquakes, the volcanic eruptions, the sudden loss of our magnetic field....culminating in the implosion of the surface

You have some time left, use it well. In the end, nothing really mattered after all