>be american
>not actually american
>be white man in america
>not actually white
>be man in america
>not even an actual dude
>be person of average weight in america
>criminally overweight in every other nation
>be american football
>it's fucking handegg and actual football is called soccer
>be american pizza
>they're named after states cause there's no real difference between the shit otherwise
>be american
>walk inside home with shoes on
>be american
>drag dogshit into house and bed
>be american
>kill off an entire species of buffalo
>be american
>still uses a unit of messurement made by actual monkey
>be american
>lose entire cities to criminals and foreigners cause their police are a bunch of pussies
>be american
>CLAP CLAP CLAP
>be american
>make obnoxious reality TV shows no one likes
>be american
>still eat hotdogs in buns instead of the superior Norwegian LOMPE
>be american
>can't even make decent bread
>be american
>have to give waiters pocket change cause your own government is fucked
>be american
>have to choose between an actual demon and an orange bananaman as the leader for their country
>be american
>not even the first to reach space
>be american
>single-handedly responsible for Moot existing
>be american
>still crying about two fucking towers being blown up 17 years later
>be american
>not actually the center of the universe
>be american
>created ISIS
>be american
>can't even use a fucking stick shift
>be american
>nedlessly fuck up words english words
