/bant/, there's literally nothing i'm motivated to do, for me it feels everything is too much effort for absolute no reward. Anything productive i try to achieve crumbles because it just feels fucking pointless, and i'm not talking about just working or making something. I haven't showered in like 4-5 days and i haven't really gotten out in a long ass time too. Instead of looking how to "get back on track", can you tell me why the hell should i instead of just necking myself? I'm 19 and i can't envision myself living to my 30s, it feels like it's just downhill from here. Also, don't tell me to get help for depression, this is not depression, not everyone who's suicidal is depressed and i don't want to minimize people with actual problems, i'm just a lazy fuck.