/bant/ - International/Random

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Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:33:25 No.4126002 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>4126020 >>4126028 >>4126132 >>4126138 >>4126143

How do you fight off the constant and overwhelming urge to end your miserable existence /bant/?

I try binge watching, making art, writing screen plays and poems, drawing, singing, rapping, instruments, nothing seems to express and vent this constant fucking scream inside of me.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:JnZYruBB Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:34:38 No.4126008 Report

Quoted By: >>4126012

go outside

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:36:04 No.4126012 Report

Quoted By: >>4126019

>>4126008
i have friends and go out 2 - 4 days a week.

still wanna die

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:JnZYruBB Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:37:02 No.4126019 Report

Quoted By: >>4126036

>>4126012
go outside without friends

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:g/n0a0S2 Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:38:03 No.4126020 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126002
Buy plastic shit to make me happy for a few days.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:/BxKrvmZ Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:39:25 No.4126028 Report

Quoted By: >>4126042

>>4126002
why do you want to kill your self srs ?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:40:43 No.4126036 Report

Quoted By: >>4126124

>>4126019
i used to go on walks, but I've developed arthritis and it makes it too painful to exercise, i sit outside on the roof of my shed or my garden, patio or decking for fresh air everyday - i live in the country and the air is nice and fresh for clearing my head

usually

but everything has slowly faded into grey

its like theres nothing left for me

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:41:59 No.4126042 Report

Quoted By: >>4126052

>>4126028
i dont want to die i just dont want to feel like shit and get everything to just stop for five seconds but it never does

when sleep comes it feels like a blink i just want to float in nothingness

I wanna be in a coma

and want to stop existing

>suicide.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:/BxKrvmZ Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:44:11 No.4126052 Report

Quoted By: >>4126074

>>4126042
did you try therapy fren

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:aLSrGpJv Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:44:27 No.4126053 Report

Quoted By: >>4126077

Maybe your bored with life, try something new. Go on a vacation somewhere you've never been, make new friends, there's plenty of things to try you just have to explore a little

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:48:12 No.4126074 Report

Quoted By: >>4126140

>>4126052
idk what therapy is supposed to do

i know all the shit that fucked me up in life and i know pretty much whats wrong with me

only thing i see working is medication but every professional ive ever seen has gotten off on such a shit note with me that i just stop seeing them

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:48:45 No.4126077 Report

Quoted By: >>4126097

>>4126053
maybe, i gotta settle some things around me but, i plan to travel asap

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:aLSrGpJv Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:55:01 No.4126097 Report

Quoted By: >>4126102

>>4126077
I hope that works, doing something different and exciting always cheered me up.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:56:16 No.4126102 Report

Quoted By: >>4126111 >>4126112

>>4126097
thanks anon

i think part of me wanted people to be really mean and id get some kinda rush from it

but this was nice

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:7UFsX34F Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:58:07 No.4126108 Report

Quoted By: >>4126117

Chain dating girls. I've never been single for more than 6 months since I was 15. It helps having someone to live for.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:gG5fqdOt Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:58:51 No.4126111 Report

Quoted By: >>4126120

>>4126102
seems like I got to the thread late
w/e good luck anon

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:aLSrGpJv Mon 19 Feb 2018 00:58:55 No.4126112 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126102
Your welcome fren. I try to always help an anon in need

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:00:16 No.4126117 Report

Quoted By: >>4126133

>>4126108
im good looking and likeable but the second anyone actually gets close no one wants to date me and those that do i rarely wanna date em

im a funny friend and fun to be around but too fucked up to be an actual partner

dated someone for 10 months but got cuck'd to fuck

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:00:47 No.4126120 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126111
im still here but thank you for the luck

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:bZsV9jky Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:01:25 No.4126124 Report

Quoted By: >>4126144

>>4126036
You should read this in regards to curing your arthritis and it is not the first time I have come across such information http://alternative-doctor.com/blog/borax-arthritis/

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:m+Ghqvrr Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:02:50 No.4126132 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126002
Because I'm afraid death might be worse than living.

Normie

Normie ID:7UFsX34F Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:02:53 No.4126133 Report

Quoted By: >>4126172

>>4126117
Sounds rough anon. I know where you're coming from.
Do you just not try to date a lot or just don't have the availability?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1yoNz7mb Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:03:51 No.4126138 Report

Quoted By: >>4126172

>>4126002
my life’s kinda miserabke and really shitty, but i still want to live, because my life is still at it’s beginning, and i am excited for what life has in store in the future. life is scary, but death is scarier.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:/BxKrvmZ Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:03:56 No.4126140 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126074
i am sorry to hear that fren
like the burger said , try to go somewhere new without anyone else
if you want someone to talk to tell me fren

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:i+SQRWHZ Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:04:30 No.4126143 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126002
I jerk off about 5 times a day and go to the pub every night with different people.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:04:49 No.4126144 Report

Quoted By: >>4126251

>>4126124
damn thats mad interesting, definitely gonna look into that more thanks britanon

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:k3s2MUhK Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:07:17 No.4126156 Report

Quoted By: >>4126172 >>4126200

Depression usually comes in waves and settles out for similar amounts of time. You could be sad for a month but also be fine for the month afterward and find a job, yet get depressed and lose it, and then get fine and find a girlfriend, etc. Sucks but the decent times make not ending it possible each time. You just have to avoid being lazy when times are good again and quit waiting for things to get bad

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:09:24 No.4126172 Report

Quoted By: >>4126205 >>4126264 >>4126265

>>4126133
I've some serious anxiety disorder business but it applies itself in weird af places, im okay with meeting friends of friends, so i kinda just date organically through social circles, but it makes it very slow in comparison to online dating - something i could never do

so i do "date" it just doesnt happen

>>4126138
i dont think death is scary i just dont like hurting people and id hurt a lot of people by dying - i think ive the potential to do something great creatively in my life, i just dont know how im going to get there with 0 will to live and the constant threat of all my interests suffering burnout

>>4126156
my good times only seem to last two weeks at a time and theyre not even that good :(

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:11:15 No.4126200 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126156
in my last "good time" i wrote a script for my portfolio to get into film school and its genuinely very good

i set out a schedule of steps to take to finish the project

but when the day of storyboarding came so did the depression and i havent been able to work on it since without wanting to cry and vomit at the same time

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1yoNz7mb Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:11:44 No.4126205 Report

Quoted By: >>4126231

>>4126172
im pretty sure that the one solution to your problem is commitment. if you do a bunch of things, but have no commitment to do them, then you will experience burnout. that is why many people change their personalities and disposition when they finally have children.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:13:58 No.4126231 Report

Quoted By: >>4126252

>>4126205
i do commit to one thing at a time
and then
it dies
and when i try to do it this pit opens up in me and every bit of my body wants to lash out and curl up at the same time
i wanna cry and vomit and jump off something really high

so i stop doing it

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:bZsV9jky Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:16:40 No.4126251 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126144
It's better than having constant appointments with your GP, only for no medication to really work

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1yoNz7mb Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:16:45 No.4126252 Report

Quoted By: >>4126272

>>4126231
why is your attitude towards failure like that? instead of feeling depressed and dead because of failure, why don’t you learn from the failure and turn it into success? no matter how much you fail, you can always try again. that’s commitment. i broke my arbitrary break from 4chan just to reply to this thread.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:aLSrGpJv Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:18:08 No.4126264 Report

Quoted By: >>4126281

>>4126172
Anon you literally sound like another me, anyways while I haven't fully solved my depression quite yet what I'm trying to do is find a long term fix to keep me occupied. For example I'm trying to wright a book right now (only in the concept phase now) and a girl I like is going to a party next month and some of her friends have invited me to come so I'll see what I can pull there. My point in this is find some long term fix it doesn't have to be a setting life goal, just something to keep you preoccupied for a while

Normie

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Normie ID:7UFsX34F Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:18:22 No.4126265 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126172
Hit the pub with the boys if you aren't already a just try to talk to any girl that seems like your type. Don't go in with intent to fuck her but to know her.
Actually don't do this. Find something else to occupy your time other than chasing skirt it fucks you up.
Unless you want actual dating advice I'm not doing this.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:19:18 No.4126272 Report

Quoted By: >>4126284

>>4126252
idk its not really an attitude, toward failure, I'll be doing fairly well at something - i was playing grade 8 piano but this effect happened and it drained any fun i got out of it

eventually it becomes more painful than enjoyable

and then whats the point

also i appreciate you replying friend

C⌬©⍟ℕυͳ !!ejZnhfeYlll

C⌬©⍟ℕυͳ !!ejZnhfeYlll ID:kBuRwafc Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:19:29 No.4126274 Report

Quoted By: >>4126291

Drugs mostly

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:20:34 No.4126281 Report

Quoted By: >>4126313

>>4126264
im trying to write movies and tv shows but its hard when your body says to just end yourself and all you can do is rest your head on your table and cry

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1yoNz7mb Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:21:00 No.4126284 Report

Quoted By: >>4126294

>>4126272
this might sound scary, but you might have some sort of obsessive-compulsive mental disorder or something.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:21:59 No.4126291 Report

Quoted By: >>4126369

>>4126274
weed is great but everytime theres a party something gets in the way of me going and im too poor to not scab some cabbage off richer stoners, im slick about it and everyones chill with me so its grand but, i havent been smoked up since a new years party i threw

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:22:23 No.4126294 Report

Quoted By: >>4126318

>>4126284
most likely, i know im fucked in the head some how

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:aLSrGpJv Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:25:19 No.4126313 Report

Quoted By: >>4126321

>>4126281
For my book I've tried injecting some of my other interests. For example, I love psychology so I let me research fuel some of my ideas. Maybe if you combine all your interests you won't get so bored of them. You'll only be using it a little bit before moving to another interest, but because they're intertwined your still making progress to your end goal

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1yoNz7mb Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:26:03 No.4126318 Report

Quoted By: >>4126330 >>4126371

>>4126294
go to a psychiatrist or something, mate. it might help.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:26:29 No.4126321 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126313
maybe, my shortfilm is about suicide so, I'm definitely venting in some way

i could probably try do some stuff round vidya or music

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:27:35 No.4126330 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126318
youre probably right but ive been to three and its all gone fucking terribly

Quoted By: >>4126384

>>4126291
Weed is good. Take the /opi/ pill

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:33:03 No.4126371 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126318
got sent to school counsellor after school counsellor

emergency sent to some child professionals when i wanted to end it but climbed down out of the tree and told my parents what just happened
"but you didnt do it did you"

sent myself to some as i got older
>Explain how i hate routine and it makes me feel terrible because it reminds me of having to live with my abusive grandad doing farmhand work, in extreme length
>"i think you need more routine in your life"
(actual direct response)

im very wary if doctors because I'm not a textbook case and they treat everyone as such

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:34:20 No.4126384 Report

Quoted By: >>4126396 >>4126451

>>4126369
opi pill?
opiates?

i od'd on morphine in hospital when i was little so i try and stay away from hard shit

Quoted By: >>4126412

>>4126384
How do you OD in a hospital

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:38:28 No.4126412 Report

Quoted By: >>4126429

>>4126396
worst hospital in the country

overpopulated, understaffed, underpaid, undertrained nurses

they either didnt know how to use the equipment or didnt know the correct dosage for a kid - but i was high as fuck for a bit and then my heart stopped

Quoted By: >>4126446

>>4126412
Sounds pretty dope.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:42:35 No.4126446 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126429
yeah it was until the detox and all the nightmares and also the heart attacks

not gonna lie tho it was a wild ride while i was on it

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1yoNz7mb Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:43:14 No.4126451 Report

Quoted By: >>4126472

>>4126384
man, i feel very sad for you. you seem to have one of the roughest lives in the world. i’m only depressed because of the state of the world, but not because of factors in my life. a child’s development starts from the family and parents.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:47:03 No.4126472 Report

Quoted By: >>4126473 >>4126488 >>4126494

>>4126451
ayy yo i can actually drop some wisdom and shit now

ive obviously had a lot of shit but,
i developed inside of that
its what i could manage

pain and suffering is relative and a personal experience

you can never quantity it universally or compare it

if you're having a shit time then youre having a shit time, im having a shit time too, there is no comparison - there is only shit

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:47:40 No.4126473 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126472
quantify it universally*

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1yoNz7mb Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:50:02 No.4126488 Report

Quoted By: >>4126510

>>4126472
that’s pretty much it, but i still strongly feel that my situation’s significantly less shitty than yours.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:51:30 No.4126494 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126472

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:53:54 No.4126510 Report

Quoted By:

>>4126488
i guess, doesnt invalidate yours though and dont let yourself think that, you matter

sorry for suddenly jumping to that, i hate the idea that telling my own story might make someone feel worse and i kinda dedicate my life to tryin to help people cos well, its a 'miracle', for want of a better word, that im alive at all so why not use it for somethin decent

just gets hard to keep that kinda mentality in mind when you're depressed

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:2BJQAL4U Mon 19 Feb 2018 01:56:31 No.4126521 Report

Quoted By:

im gettin sleepy now, thanks for talkin to me anons, yiz made me feel a little less heavy, still sad as fuck but

more free than before

might come back idk, but for now, goodnight guys

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