I just did the most degenerate nigger thing you can imagine and I'm seriously contemplating suicide right now.
I'm not here for advice I just want to get this out.

My little brother started going on about being trans like 2 years ago so we sent him to a psychiatrist. They diagnosed gender dysmorphia and put him on HRT half a year ago. He was 13,5 so didn't hit puberty yet. He pretty much looked like any girl his age, since he had long hair and used make up and shit. We were always very close but when someone in your family is trans you won't tell them they are degenerate faggots, you actually support them. Kinda ironic that my brother is trans while I visit every trans thread and talk shit about them.
For two years he was pretty much my sister and I saw her (I'm going to call her HER now) as my sister.

Now that she's on HRT she became even more like a woman. Her breasts are growing, a very feminine voice, long blonde hair. Make up doing the rest.
Today, like 3 hours ago she came into my room asking for clothing advice since school is about to start next week again.
She changed clothes in front of me, forgetting that she's a girl now and exposed her breasts to me.
I told her to cover up but she didn't, she actually fucking replied that she's trying to make me horny.
I just sat there baffled in silence. I told her she was drowning in a cocktail of hormones and she doesn't know what she's talking about. She replied that she's been in love with me for quite some time. Boys in school know she's trans so they don't give her much attention. long story short I fucking ended up kissing her and we grinded for a bit, with my clothes on and her in panties. I realized what we were doing and stopped it. I told her this isn't right, almost puking at the realization that I felt my brothers dick rubbing against my pants. She told me she wouldn't tell our parents but still cried because of the rejection.
/pol/ I can't live with myself anymore. I can't even look in the mirror.