Hello godtards. My name is Pastor Salt and I preach at the Salt Church in Gawler, South Australia. When I am sick or on leave, my colleague Rector Minvader fills in for me.

I probably shouldn't be writing this, for obvious reasons, but I figure very few of my flock would visit a cesspit like 4chan.

What I want to share with you, the drooling, head-nodding, credulous pew-warmer that you are, is that I, and at least 90% of my colleagues in the religion business KNOW that god is fake, heaven is fake, hell is fake and that religion is the greatest scam in the history of our species. This is why we feel at liberty to rape your children. Not only do we have no fear of a non-existent hell, but we also have no respect for people dumb enough to swallow our ridiculous lies.

Sorry about that. But hey, it's easier than working in a coal mine, right?