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>be muttlet
>go to school
>be first to get shot
>shot noise gives instant heart attack to 5 other muttlets and 2 teachers
>Kill count: 7; Injured:1
>applaud the shooter for excellent marksmanship and upholding 2nd amendment
>Wait for medical services to get me. They can take their time all the excessive fat is blocking the blood flow
>Thank Jesus for McDonalds™ Lard Lover Meal
>Meanwhile the shooter upholds second amendment right with pride
>"Hmmm.. Emergency services are taking too long. Maybe they're cleaning the shart off their Mart Carts."
>Later Paramedics come to check if I'm alive
>Tip the medic for arriving, deduct $0.5 for taking too long
>"Oy vey! You don't have medical insurance. I can't help you."
>Applaud him for upholding the laws of American Soil™
>Shooter hears us and shoots medic
>Medicisded.jpeg
>Kill count: 15; Injured: 13
>applaud again for good marksmanship and
upholding second amendment
>Suddenly national anthem starts playing
>Everyone standup for national anthem
>MarioBonusMusic.mp3
>everyone gets shot
>Pungent smelling special L.A.R.D. unit rushes in smelling like donuts and coffee
>Kills shooter
>Everyone applauds
>Give them tip for killing the shooter and not shooting the muttlets
This is the story of how I survived my first school shooting
>Pic: me
>go to school
>be first to get shot
>shot noise gives instant heart attack to 5 other muttlets and 2 teachers
>Kill count: 7; Injured:1
>applaud the shooter for excellent marksmanship and upholding 2nd amendment
>Wait for medical services to get me. They can take their time all the excessive fat is blocking the blood flow
>Thank Jesus for McDonalds™ Lard Lover Meal
>Meanwhile the shooter upholds second amendment right with pride
>"Hmmm.. Emergency services are taking too long. Maybe they're cleaning the shart off their Mart Carts."
>Later Paramedics come to check if I'm alive
>Tip the medic for arriving, deduct $0.5 for taking too long
>"Oy vey! You don't have medical insurance. I can't help you."
>Applaud him for upholding the laws of American Soil™
>Shooter hears us and shoots medic
>Medicisded.jpeg
>Kill count: 15; Injured: 13
>applaud again for good marksmanship and
upholding second amendment
>Suddenly national anthem starts playing
>Everyone standup for national anthem
>MarioBonusMusic.mp3
>everyone gets shot
>Pungent smelling special L.A.R.D. unit rushes in smelling like donuts and coffee
>Kills shooter
>Everyone applauds
>Give them tip for killing the shooter and not shooting the muttlets
This is the story of how I survived my first school shooting
>Pic: me
