So this is a pretty wild trip of a story. Gunna try and till it before the glowing ones hop in and tell me I'm mentally ill.

When I was late teens early twenties I worked in an upscale grocery store. I became real good friends with a dude from Yemen who worked for the Republican National Guard.
I found his stories fascinating.

When he was a kid, his summer camp consisted of holding RPG's and shit. I have a pretty dark sense of humor but I would never hurt anyone because I don't vote democrat, or vote for that matter. I digress.

A confirmed CIA agent shopped there regularly. He was a fat dude who looked kinda like Teddy Roosevelt had a love child with a blue whale. He overheard us talking and already hated the fuck out of me cause I didn't like how fat he was.

He launched some weird gang-stalking campaign on me for years that ruined my life but I ain't mad cause I trolled the federal government.

The funny thing is, multiple people who cared about me told me they were talked to by people saying I was a dangerous "terrorist". They thought it was funny.This is extra funny because I'm the most anti-violence mofo around. I don't even like guns I think they are soley for destruction.

I just have a fucked up sense of humor and the federal government tried to murder me for this. Even someone with extreme down syndrome would be able to tell everything I said was satirical and with extreme jocularity.

Too bad the glowing ones don't know what an actual threat looks like.