has r/banter ever had growing pains in the pit of their belly and it really hurts super bad and you dont know whats wrong but it must be constipation so you go up to the toilet really quickly with deep breathes to poop and sit on the toilet and start forcing your anal muscles to squeeze but nothing comes out and your sitting there for hours until it hits you that you must be pregnant (male) and your like "oh shit i don't want to be a mother(male)" and you start crying because your life is ruined but you have an idea to give yoyrself a male abortion so you bend apart a clothes hanger really slowly and insert it into your peepee and run the metal rod down and your sweating from anxiousness and feel sharp bits of pain but its okay because your going to kill the baby but your hand slip and your like oh no oh no oh no and the coathanger wire that was a few inches into your peepee is forced through the skin and out the other side of your shaft and your screaming in pain but then the baby inside you starts kicking and its too late you cant get an abortion so you remove the metal wire and lie down in the bath tub awaiting impending doom as your penis bleeds out and studdenly your shaft starts to enlarge and your like oh no oh no oh no and your penis starts to tear open from the enlargement and your screaming and you look down and see the head of a baby covered in fluids sticking out of your groin where your penis was torn apart and you scream in terror and the baby looks at you and screams in terror but you manage to force it out and your quivering in pain and look at the shaking baby on the floor and after preparing it you find out the baby tasted really good like buttered pigs feet??