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yo i got a shitty story
>be me
>retarded 19 y/o
>have intestine issues and chronical pain
>go to the doctor get your ass checked out and shit
>doctor wanted me to get a stool sample
>me being uninformed asks how i will go about doing this
>doctor jokingly replies "idk poop on a plastic plate
>takes it seriously
>get home
>really needed to shit
>realises i have to take the stool sample
>wondering how i will get this shit in this test tube
>do what the doctor told me
>go to the bathroom with a plastic plate
>put plastic plate on closed toilet lid
>hunker over it like a dog
>take massive fiber shit
>holy shit
>shit overflows onto the toilet seat
>omfg
>stop shitting and put the plate on the edge of the sink
>gagging because of the stench
>i never knew how much the water restricted the scent
>trying to clean it up
>accidently bump into plate of shit
>it falls face down onto the floor
>i want to fucking die
>realises i did all this for a reason
>dunno how to get this shit into the test tube
>grab pinches of shit and shove into test tube
>fill the fucker to the brim
>realises the lid of the test tube has an attached spoon
>want to die
>cleaning up takes an hour, the stench filled the house and my family is looking at me in disgust
>later at the doctors
>turning in test tube
>doctor stares at it and then at me etc etc
>look of disgust
>what did i do
>realises there's a line on the test tube
>aaaaa
>was only supposed to fill 1/5 of the test tube
>mfw
anyways thats why i stopped going to the doctors
>be me
>retarded 19 y/o
>have intestine issues and chronical pain
>go to the doctor get your ass checked out and shit
>doctor wanted me to get a stool sample
>me being uninformed asks how i will go about doing this
>doctor jokingly replies "idk poop on a plastic plate
>takes it seriously
>get home
>really needed to shit
>realises i have to take the stool sample
>wondering how i will get this shit in this test tube
>do what the doctor told me
>go to the bathroom with a plastic plate
>put plastic plate on closed toilet lid
>hunker over it like a dog
>take massive fiber shit
>holy shit
>shit overflows onto the toilet seat
>omfg
>stop shitting and put the plate on the edge of the sink
>gagging because of the stench
>i never knew how much the water restricted the scent
>trying to clean it up
>accidently bump into plate of shit
>it falls face down onto the floor
>i want to fucking die
>realises i did all this for a reason
>dunno how to get this shit into the test tube
>grab pinches of shit and shove into test tube
>fill the fucker to the brim
>realises the lid of the test tube has an attached spoon
>want to die
>cleaning up takes an hour, the stench filled the house and my family is looking at me in disgust
>later at the doctors
>turning in test tube
>doctor stares at it and then at me etc etc
>look of disgust
>what did i do
>realises there's a line on the test tube
>aaaaa
>was only supposed to fill 1/5 of the test tube
>mfw
anyways thats why i stopped going to the doctors
