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Stories that happened in your country

ID:aReiyK5g No.4861919 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
>be Brazilian
>playing soccer in the jungle with Pelé, Ronaldinho, and some capuchin monkeys after eating a good ol' feijoada
>suddenly, i hear a growl
>"NHAU RAU"
>it's a trombadinha holding an ak-47 and riding a jaguar
>he asks me to gib him monie, but i don't have any
>he knocks me unconscious with his gun
>wake up
>i'm in Brazilia's congress
>Lula, Dilma, Temer, and Bolsonaro are all looking pissed off at me
>they tie me to a chair and punish me with loud funk music CHU CHA CHA CHU CHA CHA
>"Mate" - Lula says - "If you don't give monies, i will force feed you with rotten sopa de macaco".
>but as Lula says that, Mc Carlos SUMARÉ appears in all his beauty, riding a jabiru stork
>he tells the stork to peck the ropes tying me to the chair off
>then he proceeds to do his glorious call O TATA É POI, and summons a flock with various parrots and toucans
>they proceed to peck the trombadinha and the politicians to death, while Mc Carlos SUMARÉ takes me home
>we ride an alligator down the Amazon River
>we arrive home, and proceed to have an acarajé dinner with Silvio Santos, Faustão, and a harpy eagle, with sertanejo playing in the background

Man, being a Brazilian is truly an adventure.