how fucked up family do you have, and how is that affecting on your life now moment, /bant/?

>dad falls into alcoholic. severe symptoms of violence and swearing. losing mental control all day.
>mom leaving family and divorcing at my age 3 yo. never contacting for once after that.
>I suffer fathers random alcoholic rampage on us (brother and me) while growing up.
>5 years older brother beat me up randomly in house. since there were no any adults to look after. He used to force me to eat our dog's poo and his spit. forced to do 'push-up' posture for hours until dad come back to home.
>get bullied in school because I didn't wash school uniform. so I was smelly.
>I go to military service when age 19.
>get bullied by lads because of clumsy behavior and short height (I'm only 5'3 ft tall as male.)
>after finishing bootcamp, all the families come to see the their son's face.
>his hair all turned into white color and was tangled. his teeth got yellow and it was smelling bad when he was talking. he was just so trivial old man. and so was I. compared to other normal families.
>commit suicide when coming back to the bootcamp after family meeting.
>get kicked out from military(ended up only bleeding some from wrist).
>end up living with dad. living in a basement rent room only two of us when i was age 20.
>get out of home. and start to do shitty labor works living in dormitory.

I honestly think my existence was only to suffer or to be placed in the bottom so I can make other people 'superior' compared to me.
one of reason why I committed suicide.
sometimes I wanna still do it but I don't have that courage again now.