has r/banter ever wanted to throw a secret party for r/banter's anniversary and you wanted to go to the store to get a birthday cake so you leave your house and get in the car and turn on the radio and hey gary numan - cars is playing so your like "yea thats good" and bob your head up and down to the music and dont pay attention to youjr surroundings and accidentally run over a toddler crossing the road and your like "oh no" as your window is covered in body acids, blood and gore and for a brief second you can see the childs torn off face and its like time slowed down for a split second and the ripped off face has an expression as if to say "why" so you start screaming and stear off road madly and crash into a building and a brick goes through the windshield and obliterates your ballsack and your seat is now covered in sperm and ball skin and that really sucks but hey you look around and you conveniently crashed into the bakery with cake so attempt to exit the car to enter the store and tiptoe over the mushy remains of what should be a fellow storegoer but you cant tell because the fellow storegoer must have been storing up tons of diarrhea because all that remains of him is red and brown and you head to the cake isle and for some reason the buildign looks like it was hit by a hurricane because theres debris everywhere and you grab a cake and go to check out but the cashier had his guts squeezed out his anus from being trapped between the hood of my car and a wall so i leave my money on the counter