>jump out of bed
>run in the bathroom and take a massive dump
>start screaming "HURRRG HURRGG HURRGGG"
>reach down into the toilet bowl and grab pieces of turd
>rub it all over my face
>start bashing my head against the toilet
>hurl myself out of the bathroom into the hallway wall
>slam into wall
>scream "gglarlrhahhbhahahrahghghah"
>scramble into kitchen on all fours
>grab a butcher knife from a drawer
>cut off my own dick
>go back into bathroom and flush it down the commode
>take another massive shit on the floor
>shit so hard blood gushes out
>slit my own throat
>die
