So, after living in Japan for three years and seeing Touhou all over the place I thought so many people can't be simultaneously retarded and had decided to play it for myself.
Turns out, I was wrong underestimating a number of genuine otakuses in this world - 11 games of this cheap shit was all I managed to endure.
The story is bland and stupid, the mechanics are shit, the characters were a bunch of worthless stereotypical cliches, and the only redeeming quality was the music.

Many months later, I went on a car trip while only grabbing my laptop and external HDD which only had a single Bruce Lee movie and the last 2 games which I hadn't bothered to delete.
So, having nothing better to do, I've ended up finishing the last game.

I thought I won't change my opinion regarding Touhou but I was wrong yet again. Touhou went from
"it's a cheap shit which is borderline playable, thus not harmful but I have better things to do with my time"
to
"IT'S A FUCKING PILE OF SOUL TORTURING EXCREMENTS"

Not a single decent song for the whole remainder of the game.
Most of the characters don't have more than a single trait of the respective cliches they are trying to rip off. Some games have deeper characters on the background.
Hell, 3-5 characters still remained "literally who" to me through the whole game.
Like one and a half main characters aren't genuine cretins. Watching their "interactions" during the rest of the games was unbearable.

The whole final conflict depended on everyone being a fucking retard to just work.

I thought people played this shit for waifus. But now I'm confused. All of the "waifus" Touhou offers are shit.
There's plenty of games which have strong waifu appeal like Undertale. I don't necessarily agree with this point of view but at least I can see where are people coming from. Touhou, however, is irredeemable.