>>5193206https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/8jho22/does_anyone_else_identify_with_this_book_about/A summary of the book: The thesis is that their is a pattern in some men, linked to systemic abandonment at childhood, that makes a man a "nice guy" (and sometimes single mothers or agressive fathers). A nice guy would be someone who: has a strong shame (belief of being unlovable, defective, etc) -mainly a belief that being who they are is dangerous-, they believe they are "perfect" (extremely law-obedient, etc) or "terrible" (and try to hide the bad they are), they are life preserving but not life giving, they are not happy, lacking an internal energy, extremely dependent on validation from women, obsessed with their identity of being a "good lover" or "never offending anyone", liers when they mess up but in denial of their lying, in complete repression of their sexuality, without boundaries with respect to what other people want, with few men relations, and a rejection of other men, fear that taking care of their own interests is "selfish", trying to appear needless, extremely bad recievers, givers of oral sex but with erectyle dysfunction or such, doing things to be loved, resentful of giving and not being gived back/buying love (entitlement), difficulty with accepting difficulty of life, searcher of a "problem free" life, victimhood mentality, thinks that most men are jerks, lonely, they believe that his different from other men because he isn't controlling, rageful, violent, and he's a good lover and father, they lack sexual assertiveness, competiteveness, creativity, power, be in relationships with "damaged girls" to fix them, addiction to pornography or hookers in a compulsive and secret way, addiction to drug or alcohol, sexual dysfunction, absence of sex being within or out of a relationship, settlers for bad sex, an obsession to do everything perfect, procastinaters and impunctual, etc. There are also ways he suggests to change it.
