>>5334011I'm coming here to share my feelings because I have nobody and I'm rapidly amounting to nothing so far. Plus it's fucking gay to do things like this so I'm glad none of you know who the fuck I am. I've taken up writing poetry, I had a bunch on and old phone of mine before it got smashed. I have no idea what to do with my life right now and I'm running in circles. I get lonelier every day. I know exactly what I NEED to do to be successful and I know I CAN do it, but just, somehow I don't. I don't feel anything anymore. I'm just going through the motions. Every day is a new mask. I've become an empty haze of antidepressants and my brain is in a fog. It feels like a constant battle for control between a happy me and the me I really feel like I am. I'm so fucking lonely. I try so hard to fit in and do whatever society wants me to do. But still, I don't work out, I don't eat right, I'm angry at everyone all the time, but I DO always try to be respectful and not a "nice guy u owe me sex now" type. But like, fuck man. I've tried talking with therapists. I've tried drugs. At a previous point in my life and up until now my grandparents babying the fuck out of me and poking and prodding has managed to keep me afloat until now as a productive member of society, I'm not a NEET or anything, and I *think* I'm a halfway smart guy, at least not retarded, but I still just can't find myself functioning like a normal fucking person without help. I feel so lost and empty, like nothing works. I just wish someone, anyone, could give me a straight answer of what the fuck to do. Like a simple "do this this and this and you can start to sort your shit out", but it's never that easy. For now I guess I'll just keep watching anime and being sad.
