>>5342270I don't know yet. I have to wait for my grades. But yes, I worked hard for this. I locked myself away from the outside world, and in the process I lost my friends, and apparently my sanity. I mean, look at me. I'm literally whining to strangers for the second time this week because I have no one else to talk to. I've spent much more effort than anyone in my class and still I don't think I'm close to their level.
And you know the most fucked up part? I actually worked hard to get here. I don't know how this works in the US or Europe but your score in grade 12 determines what majors you can study. And I worked really hard for this and I had this really good score that year, it was really good that it allowed me to get into any major I wanted. No restrictions. My parents, they were proud of me for once. I mean there was always the "you could've scored more" bitching, but they were proud I could tell because I could become anyone, since everything is available. My friends, well they were jealous. How could they not? This is like the most important year in every Syrian's life and everyone knows it. I wanted to go CS or IT but my parents, well they wanted to be a high level worker. So I got into dentistry finally. The worst part is that there are thousands out there who wish they had the "chance" that I have right now, which is becoming a dentist, becoming respected, and having high income and whatever. But here I am fucking it up. I lost my parents trust, I lost my friends, I lost my confidence. I don't trust myself anymore, I'm always having doubts about myself. And it's just I don't know really.
Sorry for all of this, it's just felt good typing all this shit.
