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Well lads I've been at this self improvement shit for over 3 years now. Sadly I don't have much to show for it. I think my problem is a paradigm. I was raised by a liberal mother and I believe she instilled in me that masculinity is bad and that I also cannot be a real man. I think all of my attempts thus far have only sought to treat the symptoms of this problem rather than the root cause. Some things are going well. I eat well, I've lost over 30 pounds(now I'm too skinny), I exercise, and I'm on my way to a decent job. But then other things are going horribly. My house is a disaster, currently basically living a NEET life and I procrastinate anything important because I actually have a fear of success. So please learn from me if you can. Contemplate your upbringing and your deepest beliefs. Destroy the mental cancer wherever you find it. I'm going to meditate and come up with some mantras and I'm going to attack this bullshit in my brain on as many fronts as possible. We're all going to make it brothers. Just fight whatever you need to fight and make sure you aren't your own worst enemy.
My plan:
Make myself physically manly. Hard to deny manliness to a masculine body.
Act like a man. Take care of shit when it needs to be done, no more hiding from problems like a bitch.
Think like a man. No more self destructive thoughts. No more porn. No more obsessions with how I'm not good enough.
That's all I can come up with right now, I'm starting today. Stop masturbating. I'm on day 18 since I last orgasmed and day 35 of not masturbating. Porn has been my biggest enemy. Cut out porn, it doesn't help you. Neither does masturbation. The urges have died out significantly. Always remember you are in control, don't let bad habits or negative thought patterns define you.
