This week has been very rough for me. Seeing attractive girls that I will never be able to have, be called ugly daily (more so than usual), and being ignored by my everyone. I am at the lowest point I have been in in a while. After my recent revelation that looks are everything and especially that looks are what was holding me back from women, I have been becoming more insane by the day. A guy that was suppossed to give me a ride to my men's league soccer game (the only thing I'm good at and look forward to), never showed up and ignored my calls and text. I was feeling bad and decided to go on a run. As I was running, I thought about how hideous I was and it reminded me of an incident that frustrated me from work earlier that day. There is an atteactive girl I work with that literally avoids me like the fucking plague. The looks of disgust I get are truly on a new level. Whenever I have tried to say things to her in the past, even work related, she gives short one word answers, rolls her eyes and walks off. That and ignores me. I'm not even that awkward personality wise. This guy that was recently hired is considerably attractive, I've actually spoken with him and he is actually more awkward than me. She has hardly ever spoken with him, and when he comes in for his shift, he gets an enthusiastic "Hi Chad!". I tried to say hey to her when she came in and all I got was a roll of the eyes and a look of utter disgust. I thought of all this as I was running and anger and disgust overtook me completely.