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ITT highlights of ur life

Anonymous ID:Kq39wdah Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:02:40 No.6028256 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>6028273 >>6028355 >>6028437 >>6029122 >>6029487 >>6029848 >>6029996 >>6030112 >>6030158 >>6030386

Tell me the best moments of your life, like le funni story or very scary story woah

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:Kq39wdah Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:04:36 No.6028273 Report

Quoted By: >>6028274

>>6028256
The best moment of my life was when I met you my love.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:Kq39wdah Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:04:57 No.6028274 Report

Quoted By:

>>6028273
woah vagina boob lol

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:7RwP2AuC Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:05:45 No.6028281 Report

Quoted By: >>6028294

cant think of anything

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Kq39wdah Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:08:12 No.6028294 Report

Quoted By:

>>6028281
make something up then jeez

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:uLY/F2WC Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:16:24 No.6028355 Report

Quoted By:

>>6028256
one time I took the moody's mega math challenge and lost
I imagine the team that won was a bunch of asian kids again

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:z8cb94Dt Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:19:17 No.6028376 Report

Quoted By:

A pretty terrible moment in my life was when I was at my 11 year old friends party and I fainted in the bathroom and slammed my head on his sink. I had to get stiches in the back of my head it was pretty cool

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:Mb3uoi5V Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:22:35 No.6028400 Report

Quoted By:

For a whole day, I wasn't in pain.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:jQ7/4Kra Mon 30 Jul 2018 16:27:26 No.6028437 Report

Quoted By:

>>6028256
Got a girlfriend

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:nh9ERqQy Mon 30 Jul 2018 17:28:56 No.6029122 Report

Quoted By: >>6029177

>>6028256
one time I fartd a poop

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Kq39wdah Mon 30 Jul 2018 17:36:18 No.6029177 Report

Quoted By:

>>6029122
HAHHHAHAHHAHAHA

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ZKo3o4Ok Mon 30 Jul 2018 18:19:20 No.6029487 Report

Quoted By:

>>6028256
when I punched a nazi at a trump rally

Gapfag

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Gapfag ID:qKvwU6AA Mon 30 Jul 2018 18:25:02 No.6029567 Report

Quoted By: >>6029632

When I found out how to solve that one kind of captcha where the images disappear after clicking on them last month

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Kq39wdah Mon 30 Jul 2018 18:36:47 No.6029632 Report

Quoted By:

>>6029567
I hate those

Can you niggas actually say something exciting or scary

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:0bz3drc5 Mon 30 Jul 2018 18:42:27 No.6029660 Report

Quoted By:

I shat myself 3 times since I can remember (not counting before 4 years old)
I've broken 9 bones in 5 different accidents
I've had a couple phrenelum tears and a penile fracture, the latter I've talked about a lot on here
I've had sex with all of the main races
I've been robbed, burgled and stalked by a guy who wrote a play about him killing me
I made friends with an African drug dealer when I lived in Amsterdam
I paid for whores on 2 occasions in Amsterdam and my dick wouldn't work
My cousin died by electrocution

uuuhhhhh I have many more but I can't really think of them right now. My life has been very silly. Which story do you want?

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:XchFJWi/ Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:10:10 No.6029848 Report

Quoted By: >>6029904 >>6029983 >>6030001

>>6028256

I like to think I have a pretty uneventful life so far, but the first time I smoked weed was definitely a highlight.

>Be me
>Be me 4 years ago, 15, summer holiday just broke.
>Breaking out of my anti-social shell.
>Just got into smoking, drinking, etc.
>Being more sociable in general.
>Decide to meet up with old childhood friend who I haven't seen in a year (I moved and left the school we were in.)
>Organise the meet-up through text.
>Decide to meet him in a bar outside a mall of all places.
>Get excited because I haven't been to a bar yet.

>Day comes and meet him in the bar along with a lady friend who tagged along.
>Start catching up with him, school and life.
>Learn that he's a total legend.
>Lady friend even backs it up.
> "Yeah did you know he's tried anal?"
>Tell her anal sounds gross but still think he's cool.
>Drinks arrive (a whole bottle of fucking Absolut with a pitcher of orange juice and ice)
>Chug it cuz we're teens xdxdxdxd
>Feel a bit buzzy but generally alright
>Find out cousin is in the area and he's selling weed
>Buy weed off him and share it with friends.
>Find a nice, quiet corner in the unloading bay of the mall

cont.?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:0bz3drc5 Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:19:18 No.6029904 Report

Quoted By:

>>6029848
go for it

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:qiRlMZBR Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:19:40 No.6029909 Report

Quoted By:

One time I felt happy

chillno of /ban/

chillno of /ban/ ID:gX4pVgbv Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:39:43 No.6029983 Report

Quoted By:

>>6029848
quoting?

Dr.Medic

Dr.Medic ID:kT60VIor Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:42:50 No.6029996 Report

Quoted By:

>>6028256
When I was in 9th grade in Spain with my class.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:XchFJWi/ Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:43:29 No.6030001 Report

Quoted By: >>6030017 >>6030092

>>6029848
cont.

>Smoke half a blunt before calling it quits and shoving it down my pocket.
>I'm having an inspirational moment, talking about novel ideas (spew out something like The Girl on the Train)
>Legend friend is giggling at random unfunny shit
>Lady friend is having a full out of body experience
>We think we hear people so we run back to the bar

>We pick up our convo where we left it
>Legend friend excuses himself to the toilet while I'm still talking about my book idea to lady friend (who honestly doesn't care at this point)
>10 minutes pass and legend friend is still not out of the toilet.
>Lady friend checks up on him
>Comes back with an ‘omg’ expression
> “There’s vomit everywhere”
>Rush to the toilet cubicle
>He’s in fetal position, vomit EVERYWHERE, sweating like mad
>Responds to my questions with nods and shakes
>Before I leave him alone he asks me “Am I going to die?”
>Giggle nervously and tell him it’ll take more than that to kill him
>Then shut the cubicle door on him like a prick
>10 more minutes’ pass and my high/drunk attempts at trying to flirt with an obviously uninterested girl is failing
>I check on legend friend and he’s still in a fetal position
>I get mildly impatient and pull him up and take him to the sink.
>Clean him up, get vomit off him and sit him down on the seat
>He’s looking like a corpse
>lolhesdead.jpeg
>Check pulse to make sure he’s alive
>My high brain thinks I’m a doctor now so I keep checking his pulse
>Lady friend books it when she realizes the gravity of the situation
> “Oh my dad is here gtg”
> Left alone with a blackout drunk while on the influence of cannabis

more coming up...

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:p4QkiH4t Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:45:04 No.6030017 Report

Quoted By: >>6030086

>>6030001
this better end with you fucking him

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ZZXMe4mW Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:53:59 No.6030086 Report

Quoted By:

>>6030017
Trust me it will

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:XchFJWi/ Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:54:51 No.6030092 Report

Quoted By: >>6030115 >>6030137

>>6030001
>15 minutes later, I check up on him and he’s still gone.
>Wakes up occasionally to puke
>Weed is starting to wear off and I’m having a reality check myself
>Decide to pull him out of the bar and up the stairs to the road and hail a cab
>He gains a rare moment of consciousness and I make my move
>People giving us looks as we exit but my still-high brain thinks it’s ‘good looks’
>It isn’t
>Get him up the stairs and place him on the side of the pavement while I try hailing a cab
>Friend is now puking everywhere and passing out
>Bouncer tells me to get him out of his sight
>I tell him to chill or fuck off
>Start running for dear life with drunk friend on my back
>A few blocks down and I manage to hail one
>Forget his address
>I apologize to the cab driver and tell him to drive anywhere while I quickly call his mum and ask for the address
>We manage to find the place and drop him home safe
>Leave the explaining bit for the friend
>Got back home and paid a fortune to the driver
>Let my parents know I was back, showered and checked my watch
>00:02
>mfw we barely made it past midnight
>mfw the legend himself didn’t make it past midnight
>mfw anal is still gross

>In the morning, I get a ton of texts from him apologizing
>Prefer a ton of texts from lady friend last night but we don’t always get what we want.
>I still haven’t gotten anything from her
>His apologies are long and repetitive
>Offers to suck my dick in return but I politely decline
>Refuse to smoke pot for an entire year after that

We’re still good friends to this day although I prefer not to do anything more than a drink or two during the holidays.

Lesson of the story here is: Don’t do drugs kids

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ttMCnJ2s Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:57:18 No.6030112 Report

Quoted By:

>>6028256
When I started working EMS my first call was a drunk dude passed out on someone's lawn.
Police handed him to us, and while we were getting vitals they were berating him.

Thought it was funny.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ZZXMe4mW Mon 30 Jul 2018 19:57:45 No.6030115 Report

Quoted By:

>>6030092
It's because you guys drank before you smoked. That fucks you up.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:p4QkiH4t Mon 30 Jul 2018 20:00:06 No.6030137 Report

Quoted By:

>>6030092
>Offers to suck my dick in return but I politely decline

Malaysians...

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:GcCDjcoT Mon 30 Jul 2018 20:02:14 No.6030158 Report

Quoted By:

>>6028256
whenever i listen to Bunyós Pityu I become very happy :))))))))))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMD9iRD_Roo

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:Kq39wdah Mon 30 Jul 2018 20:27:53 No.6030368 Report

Quoted By:

>be me
>be like 3 or 4 or something around there
>sees sister by sink
>walks up to her
>one well weighted dry hump right into her ass
>I don't remember clearly but I think she said something confused then realised what had just occured
>"I'm telling mum"
>fuckingsnitch.LoleGibMeRedditGolde
>feel scared and I have no idea why that was bad and as a kid that age you really get fucking nervous when someone is going to tell you off
>goes onto my sisters bed while she is running downstairs
>mum comes up to question me why I did it
>I explain that in a video online I saw some guy stick his dick up a womans arse and a baby grabbed onto the dick and he pulled the baby out with his dick
>I made all of that up but in my head I imagined it as a cartoon, seldom did I know, I just described some weird fucking kinky porn
>mum tells me to be more careful on laptop
>I used the laptop later that day and she said something else about it and that was the end I heard about it
>If I actually watched real weird kinky porn my mum clearly didn't really care enough to make sure it didn't happen again.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DdpoGGui Mon 30 Jul 2018 20:30:54 No.6030386 Report

Quoted By: >>6030397

>>6028256
definitely when i was younger and hadn't had much to worry about
would frequently do well in school without giving a damn, and waste away on the computer having fun with vidya
the only difference now is that i'm out of school and vidya is no longer as fulfilling and i also want to die

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Kq39wdah Mon 30 Jul 2018 20:32:22 No.6030397 Report

Quoted By:

>>6030386
Come on fren, get a qt gf virgin, or a sister to dry hump one time only in the ass

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