I sexually Identify as a dildo. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of orbiting over the hotdog stand dropping orange juice on niggers. People say to me that a person being a dildo is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Pringles Potato Chips™, love, and cum on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ligma" and respect my right to masturbate in public and touch little kids. If you can’t accept me you’re a niggerphobe and need to check your nigger privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.