SLEEP. WHO THE FUCK NEEDS SLEEP? LET ME TELL YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, NOT THIS FUCKER RIGHT HERE. I JUST DROPPED MY FIFTH CAPPUCINO THIS MORNING AND IT'S ONLY 10:51 AM. I DRANK THREE RED BULLS ON MY WAY TO WORK, I SLAMMED MY COAT ONTO THE COAT RACK, SOMEHOW, AND I KNOCKED OUT FOURTEEN HOURS OF WORK IN TWELVE FUCKING MINUTES, PUT THAT IN YOUR SHIT PIPE. NOW I'M GOING TO CONTINUE WITH MY MOTHERFUCKING, ENERGY FUELLED DAY. I ALREADY WALKED MY WIFE TO WORK AND PICKED UP THE DRY CLEANING, NEXT ON THE AGENDA I'M GOING TO GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT, AND THEY SAY YOU CAN'T MAKE GOOD CHOICES WHEN SLEEP DEPRIVED. YOU KNOW WHO SAYS THAT? THE WEAK! AND PEOPLE WHO SELL BEDS. JUST TO PROVE THEM WRONG I'M GOING TO GET THE MOST BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKING HAIRCUT THESE CUNTWAFFLES HAVE EVER SEEN, I'M GOING TO MARCH INTO THAT WHOREHOUSE OF A HAIRDRESSERS, SIT DOWN IN A CLOUD OF PERFUME AND WASTED TEENAGE YEARS AND DEMAND THAT THEY STOP REGRETTING THEIR MAJOR DECISIONS IN LIFE LONG ENOUGH TO SCULPT MY GLORIOUS MANE INTO A FUCKING REVERSE MOHAWK. AIN'T NO ONE GONNA MESS WITH OLD CRAZY EYES HERE WHEN I'M ROCKING A FUCKING RACING STRIPE, THAT SHIT MAKES YOU GO FASTER. I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN THREE FUCKING YEARS.
The reply: HOLY COCKWOBBLING SHIT, ARE YOU DISRESPECTING ME SON? HOW ABOUT YOU RAM SOME FUCKING NUTS DOWN YOUR THROAT AND WAIT FOR THEM TO DROP BEFORE YOU GO AROUND JUDGING STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET. DID YOU EVER STOP TO CONSIDER THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I ACCIDENTALLY SPILT ONE OF MY HEAVENLY COFFEE BASED ELIXERS ONTO THIS WONDERFUL LITTLE KEYBOARD OF MINE? DID YOU STOP FLAPPING YOUR INCESTUOUS CRAB HANDS TO THINK THAT PERHAPS I SMASHED THE SHIFT KEYS ON BOTH SIDES DURING A SERIOUSLY GOOD FUCKING GAME OF ONLINE CHESS AND THE COFFEE DESTROYED THE CAPS LOCK KEY, PREVENTING ME FROM EVER USING ANYTHING BUT CAPS? HOLY SHIT, SON, YOU NEED TO SORT YOUR FUCKING LIFE OUT. OR MAYBE I'M JUST AN EVERLOVING ASSHOLE. THAT'S THE THING ABOUT THE INTERNET, YOU NEVER REALLY FUCKING KNOW.
