[45 / 6 / ?]
>be me
>be 18
>i've just been existing for the past 2 years
>have depression
>mask it in school and everywhere else
>no one know about it
>have alcoholic parents
>they've been drinking for the past 7 years
>month goes by usually like this:
>if we have money they drink and fight
>if we have no money we usually eat less and i mean 1 meal a day for all 3 of us
>tried talking to them, they ignored me
>plead them to stop, because i'm going insane
>get ignored again
>FeelsBadMan.jpeg
>they say they care about me but truly they dont
>get manipulated by parents because i'm beta
>have no one to trust
>cant talk to anyone about this.
>being anti-social beta doesn't help
>only things moving me further are things on my bucket list
>first kiss (which i already had), getting driver license and just driving somewhere to spend the night, etc.
>getting scared that after that i wont see a point to go on further.
>forward to the last 2 months:
>my grades went down, my attendance at school went down
>cant focus on simple task like writing down this story for more than 3 minutes without starting to do something else
>hand are shaking like i have light parkinson's syndrome
>usually cant do normal work that takes precision, hammer a nail, lighting something up, like lighting up the furnace.
>cant hold a lit match without blowning it out from, shaking on bad days
>on good days it's not that visible
>THRE'S MORE
>my spine hurts everyday lately
>cant feel my arms/legs lately
>it hurts 24/7
>start sleeping less
>get more angry
>fight with parents more and more
cont? i can tell stories about my dating life if atleast one person is interested
>be 18
>i've just been existing for the past 2 years
>have depression
>mask it in school and everywhere else
>no one know about it
>have alcoholic parents
>they've been drinking for the past 7 years
>month goes by usually like this:
>if we have money they drink and fight
>if we have no money we usually eat less and i mean 1 meal a day for all 3 of us
>tried talking to them, they ignored me
>plead them to stop, because i'm going insane
>get ignored again
>FeelsBadMan.jpeg
>they say they care about me but truly they dont
>get manipulated by parents because i'm beta
>have no one to trust
>cant talk to anyone about this.
>being anti-social beta doesn't help
>only things moving me further are things on my bucket list
>first kiss (which i already had), getting driver license and just driving somewhere to spend the night, etc.
>getting scared that after that i wont see a point to go on further.
>forward to the last 2 months:
>my grades went down, my attendance at school went down
>cant focus on simple task like writing down this story for more than 3 minutes without starting to do something else
>hand are shaking like i have light parkinson's syndrome
>usually cant do normal work that takes precision, hammer a nail, lighting something up, like lighting up the furnace.
>cant hold a lit match without blowning it out from, shaking on bad days
>on good days it's not that visible
>THRE'S MORE
>my spine hurts everyday lately
>cant feel my arms/legs lately
>it hurts 24/7
>start sleeping less
>get more angry
>fight with parents more and more
cont? i can tell stories about my dating life if atleast one person is interested
