Deus Vult
What the fuck did you just say about me, you little heretic? I'll have you know I graduated top of my Order, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Saracens, and I have over CCC confirmed kills.

I am trained in religious warfare, and I'm the top knight in the Pope's army. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will wipe you the fuck out with religious fury the likes of which has never been seen before in this Holy Land, mark my fucking deus vult.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over carrier pigeons? Think again, infidel. As we speak I am contacting my secret Order of crusaders across the Holy Land and Jerusalem is being conquered right now so you better prepare for the saving of Jerusalem, heretic. The saving that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your faith. You're fucking dead, squire. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over DCC ways, and that's just with my sword sheathed.

Not only am I extensively trained in religious combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Christian army, and I will use it to its fullest extent to wipe your miserable asinus off the face of the Eastern Mediterranean, you little stercore. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little "clever" religion was about to bring down on you, maybe you would have converted to Christianity.

But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn heathen. I will enact holy fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You're fucking dead, heretic.