[6 / 5 / ?]
>be American
>go to Walmart in my disability scooter, beeping at the all the zoomers playing fortnite on their phones
>Struggle to squeeze myself through the door, almost get stuck on my gigantic fat rolls
>Keep pushing forward for my cheap lard sticks and butter
>Pick up enough calories in frying materials alone to feed all of Africa
>Pay for all my shit, smirk to myself because I didn't even shart pants this trip
>About to tip cashier, get shot
>Drop all the butter I was going to deep fry as my mobility scooter gives way under my collosal mass shifting so rapidly after being shot by an assault rifle
>Luckily a good guy with a gun shoots him and calls me an ambulance and a forklift to pick me up off the floor
>Tip both shooters for 20% of their bullet costs
>Get forklifted into ambulance, complain to ambulance driver about 9/11 and fuel prices
>Give him all of my shekels and savings just to pay for the ride to the hospital and any possible treatment I could get
>Die anyway due to medics being as incompetent obese and uneducated as me
>Shooter survives because he didn't spend all his money on tipping people and could afford medical care
>Never got to deep fry the butter
>Still didn't shart my pants though
Feelsgoodman
>go to Walmart in my disability scooter, beeping at the all the zoomers playing fortnite on their phones
>Struggle to squeeze myself through the door, almost get stuck on my gigantic fat rolls
>Keep pushing forward for my cheap lard sticks and butter
>Pick up enough calories in frying materials alone to feed all of Africa
>Pay for all my shit, smirk to myself because I didn't even shart pants this trip
>About to tip cashier, get shot
>Drop all the butter I was going to deep fry as my mobility scooter gives way under my collosal mass shifting so rapidly after being shot by an assault rifle
>Luckily a good guy with a gun shoots him and calls me an ambulance and a forklift to pick me up off the floor
>Tip both shooters for 20% of their bullet costs
>Get forklifted into ambulance, complain to ambulance driver about 9/11 and fuel prices
>Give him all of my shekels and savings just to pay for the ride to the hospital and any possible treatment I could get
>Die anyway due to medics being as incompetent obese and uneducated as me
>Shooter survives because he didn't spend all his money on tipping people and could afford medical care
>Never got to deep fry the butter
>Still didn't shart my pants though
Feelsgoodman
