>Be Romania
>Don't exist at all until late XIX century
>Be various irrelevant voyvodships
>Always under vassalage to stronger neighbours
>Do nothing of notice for centuries
>Turks arrive
>Bend over instantly
>Send over your crops, money and most importantly your own young sons to be brainwashed into jannisaries
>If you look up battles involving the Ottomans, you'll find Romanians on their side
>Only a single notable revolt against the Ottomans, under Vlad Tepes, who was Hungarian anyway
>Poles launch a crusade against the Turks together with Hungarians and Brandenburgians, Romanians screw it all up in the Cosmin Forest
>Nothing of notice for centuries again
>Randomly unite
>Become irrelevant again
>World War One starts
>Don't join stright away, instead wait for the best moment to declare the war on Austria-Hungary
>Achieve total moment of surprise, instead lose terribly in a matter of weeks
>Become a literal vassal state to the Germans, who take over the oil fields and take the crops
>Rejoin the war literally a day prior to it ending
>Steal bunch of lands you never held, never had claim to. Solely on the basis of your people spreading like rats and breeding like crazy
>Be only slightly relevant due to oil
>Join team Hitler, he gives "your" lands to the Hungarians instead
>Be a good boi and do nothing about it
>Hitler invades the Soviets, join the fun
>Be widely considered the worst soldiers on the eastern front, worse than god damn Italians
>By your stupidity let an entire German army get encircled and destroyed
>Soviets come knocking, betray your team instantly and fight your former allies instead
>Stalin installs a puppet government anyway
>Nothing of notice up until 1989
>Autumn of Nations happens
>Be the only eastern block nation to have a bloody revolution
>Nothing again
>Join the EU
>Be the poorest country in it with rampant corruption
>WE WUZ ROMANS N SHIET
Romanians are the subhumans of Europe.
