Hello /bant/

Not really looking for advice
Just kinda going through a lot of shit
and wanted to hear "feedback" (ig thats the right word)

>be me
>be 4 1/2 months ago
>in really happy relationship with an amazing girl
>had originally gotten with said amazing girl ironically as a rebound relationship with a previous girlfriend of 3 years
>this relationship was toxic asf and i had fuckin issues come out because of it
>began thinking abt her
>couldnt stop thinking abt her
>had her blocked on everything from number to social media even email
>didnt wanna tell my gf cause i felt sick for even thinking abt it to begin with
>unblocked ex
>started talking
>turns out shes been thinking alot abt me too
>uh ok
>i cant tell what the fuck it was i wanted to do so i decided to try and talk to her in person
>eventually did meet but agreed that it was better to not continue talking afterwards
>that failed
>still talking
>this shit had been going on for 2 months behind gf back
>gf been acting distant lately
>i didnt wanna seem too obvious i was doing bullshit so i was pretty laissez faire to her
>a few weeks go by
>gf and i had a routine to go rock climbing at this gym not too far from us
>she saw at a glance a notification from ex and became immediately suspicious
>tried to talk it off like it was nothing
>later that week
>she finds the constant texts and essentially all the flirtatious shit
>is disgusted with me
>try to convince her that i will stop
>i dont
>this backfires
>finds out again
>breaks up with me
>gf messaged me a week after this and told me that she needed to talk to me
>shes pregnant
>she said she doesnt want me in her life and that she'll support herself
>has blocked every account of mine and disabled whatever other social media
>no possible way to contact her
>as for ex gf bitch i felt like scum and deaded it after that

I feel and know i am a total fucking dickhead but i dont really know what to do at this point