This world is so fucking hard I was in treatment for 2 months for the first time but now I’m out and I’m so fucking lonely I’m so bad to my family because I act so bad when I’m worried about the future and that’s how I communicate it without even thinking. I was down a really bad path always only talking to people online but since I tried to omit
Suicide he first time I stopped. I applied to 5 places to work but nothing happened yet. I applied to places like Whole Foods a few days ago too. This isn’t a joke I’ve Ben playing fornite to pass my time because when I’m alone that’s all I have to avoid going’s onlime or checking up on people I used to talk to and end up going back. That’s my biggest fear and I just ended treatment so I have more time on my hands so even though I paS time in other ways I was playing this game more and myfqmoly thinks I’m using it too much but I do a bunch of other stuff I go out and work out I play music he guitar and read but it’s honeslty hard so when the urges to go online come I play fort ore because I have to pay attention and I forget my thoughts for some time. I’m so fucking sad and this is going so bad the world hurts me so much sometimes I wanna just end my life because I ruin my families life so much. I’m so fucking horrible and so broken and sad from everything that’s been going on for the past few months and from my past and it’s so hard I pray things will change and that I’ll be strong. I don’t know why I’m writing for but I’m so fucking scared right now of myself and my thoughts.