To say it's hard is enough. It's like a waking dream you're not sure whether it's real or not. At some point I lost track of how much of this was real and just accepted it. This is what was going to happen and in a sick deluded way you wanted this. Your dreams are becoming reality for just long enough for you to fuck it all up. There's parties with beautiful women, stiff drinks and just the right company but the best is sitting down with you to just the right song.
Those moments are rare though. They're fleeting just like the times I get to feel that way. When everything is alright with no worries 3 deep in some shitty place. You cut lose just enough to give me that high I can coast on to dream for a while longer. It's a feeling you can't imagine a bit like heroin touching you warmly on the inside but you know it's your ultimate end. You'll be hooked on this forever. That kind of feeling no one else gives you. You're just right the way you are.
All of this is just a dream though. The top spot just isn't for you. It was meant for someone else so your dream falls away. That's how it all goes. Your dreams only last so long even when you're awake. The high dies and you have to deal with the come down.
Do they even think of you?
Are they even into you?
Drive you mad wanting answers you can never have. Just forget about it. You'll never answer them until you're both strapped ready to pull the trigger and go out with a pile of bodies behind you.
Maybe that's how I wanna go out.
Maybe that's how we all want to go out.
Just dreams.

>I miss you kitchen this one's for you. You're the only one who will understand. I know you're worried.
>https://youtu.be/r5PMOeMk4vY
>my album of course