>>6887925>Create for the next generation what you never hadI can't put into words how badly I want to build a good, strong, happy household with a traditional family.
But I feel I'll never trust anyone enough for that. I didn't see the light until after I graduated college this year, by then I'd seen so much of what makes people these days fickle and ungodly, I couldn't fool myself into trusting anyone enough to start a family if I wanted.
I know how easy it is to get girls to put out, how tempting it is to stay bluepilled, how hopeless it is to expect any kind of awakening in the people around me. None of it stops me from excelling, succeeding, thriving the way I did at my school. I've gotten through shit you wouldn't believe and still come out on top. Ivy league schools are a meme these days, but I shouldn't even be alive after some of the shit that happened to me when I was young. I'm at a point where nothing gets to me now.
But all that degeneracy, drinking, girls, it all hollowed me out. I'm insanely independent but I only know how to stay strong and confident as long as I'm an island. The idea of a family, of people with whom I can actually share my life, seems so out of reach. I still love my country and I'm ambitious and hard-headed so I'll probably get through a top 5 law school, maybe become a judge someday and do my best to push back against leftist faggotry, all through sheer hatred and strength of will.
But I feel like I died a long time ago and now I'm wandering in a place where I don't belong.
