I've waiting until 4:30am to post this to ensure dumb American posters have gone to bed and it's only Eurofrens and HongDong answering.

I'm 19 about to turn 20 and I desperately need a girlfriend to become a wife. I never want to get with someone who isn't a virgin but less than 5% of American women past 20 are virgins so I've figured if I'm going to act I need to do it fast before I zip into my 30's and am only left with the less smelly roastie.
How do I get a girlfriend? How do I talk to girls? How do I impress girls?

Pic semi-related